Do you believe things are simply right or wrong? Do you believe life is simply white or black or do you believe life can be an assortment of greys? As for me, I don’t know what I believe. I’m on the fence in a lot of things. As Christians, we are taught to forgive others, regardless of what they did. My therapist says I should forgive because it’s doing me more harm than good to still hold a grudge. But how do I forgive my abuser? How do I just let go of all the pain and the memories, he hit me till I lost my baby. How does one just forgive a monster?

Don’t wear provocative clothing, they say. Why? Oh you may tempt men, a good Christian girl doesn’t wear an outfit that can cause her fellow brethren to sin. It’s my body. I can wear whatever I want. Oh no, Christ dwells in you. It’s His body too. Where is the fucking line?

Don’t tell people you were abused. It is your story, you own the right to share your story. No. No. Tell the whole world you were abused, call out your abusers. Let them pay. You will help others by speaking up. Yeah I would help others probably but right now, I’m more focused on helping myself. Is that selfish? Maybe.

Have fun. Go to clubs. Live your life. No. Don’t ruin your life. Read. Travel. Learn a skill. Where is the line between “You Only Live Once” and “Don’t waste your future”.

My therapist says I have anger issues. I’ve only broken about 3 of her vases. Where does she get off telling me that? I am calm. I am a rock.

I’m married, and my husband cheated on me. He didn’t fall in love with someone else. He had sex with a stranger while he was drunk. Does this mean my marriage is over? I want someone who chooses me, and respects me. But am I willing to get a divorce because he cheated? Once. But where is the line?

Don’t kill. Get an abortion.

Don’t lie. Lie to protect others.

Don’t steal. Steal so you won’t starve.

Where is the line?

I think I’m more of a gray woman now. Life can’t be good or bad. Nothing can.

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